Predilection
by Miss Freya
Summary: Continuation of my oneshot 'Beautiful Child' ... Tatsuha's finally left of his own volition. But with his life suddenly in his own hands, he isn't sure where or what he should do... [ Chapter 6 is UP! ]
1. Prologue

**Title:** Predilection  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gravitation!  
**Pairings:** None right NOW :P  
**Warnings:** POV, teeange/adult issues, romance, angst - life in general is a warning  
**Author's Notes:** It was requested by a lot of people, so I decided to write a multi-part continuation of my fic 'Beautiful Child'. This is going to cover the course of a few years, shifting between first and third person. However, any first person will be Tatsuha. I have future pairings and happenings planned out in my head, but for now, they shall remain a secret! Here is Tatsuha's life after he decides to leave the temple, his family, and the life he's always known. Reviews are much loved! 

Enjoy! 

**Prologue**

----------- 

Running. It's become a nasty little habit of mine. 

Doesn't matter where or why, I just tend to end up doing it. Whether it's running to or from something, running has become my gut reaction to a lot of things. I'm not trying to say I'm a coward or wuss or any of that crap – 'cause I'm not – it's just easier to deal with things if you, well, don't have to deal with them. 

And I was sick of dealing with things, believe me. 

I was so sick, in fact, that I decided to start running. And…looking back on it, I've been running ever since. 

Now, _that_ sounds like a good Hollywood angsting storyline, doesn't it? I probably should write a novel or something on it. But then I'd been tiptoeing on my brother's forte. Don't call _me_ a follower. Maybe a movie, instead. That way I can hire some gorgeous actor to play me, get the girl, and ride off into the Christmas Tree light sunset. 

The more I think about it, the more I realize how stupid that sounds. Let's just get to the whole running from life thing. Back to my angsting shit, because dammit, I'm allowed to every once in a while too, you know? 

Running. I've been doing a lot of that over the years, since I ran from home. I just never imagined it would be bring me here, at twenty-two. And I never imagined I would _ever_ run from _him_… 


	2. Chapter 1

**Title:** Predilection  
**Disclaimer:** As usual...don't own gravi.  
**Pairings:** None right NOW :P  
**Warnings:** POV, teeange/adult issues, romance, angst - life in general is a warning, may contain SPOILERS if you have not read Gravi book 12  
**Author's Notes:** Alrighty, I've finally go the first chapter up! Yay! Thanks a ton to Aja for betaing, it helps a lot! I do want to make a note, though, that Tatsuha's POV will come in, you'll know the switch because of the "----" lines. It doesn't always mean a time jump, so I'm sorry if that gets confusing. All it's saying is that he's going to be speaking. 

I hope you guys enjoy! Feedback is worshiped! 

**Chapter 1**

---------------------------------- 

Coincidence is the world's biggest fucking understatement. I would like to say fate, but I think that's putting too much faith into the way the universe works. Probably not what you'd expect to hear from a man of the cloth, eh? What can I say? I was sixteen at the time, young and impressionable, to some extent, at least. 

The night I left home, I just drove until I reached Osaka. It isn't that far from Kyoto, really, but it's a different city, so it counts. I don't remember why I chose to go that way. All I remember thinking was _not_ to be in Kyoto or Tokyo. As long as I wasn't in either of those places, I would be okay… 

No, okay isn't the right word. I knew I would finally be _gone_. 

----------------- 

The next morning came like it always did. The warm scent of grease and fried foods was much more welcoming than that of the old wooden park bench Tatsuha had spent the night on. Duffle bags were snuggled in tightly next to him in a booth of one of Osaka's McDonald's restaurants. He nibbled half-heartedly on the Fried Chicken Teriyaki Burger, not feeling in the mood for much else. A small cup of that crappy coffee sat nearby as he stared blankly ahead, chewing the quickly prepared meat. 

He let his mind wander, idly wondering what his father had done after Tatsuha had driven off. His first inclination was that his father would have done nothing. The old man had probably made his way back to bed, assuming Tatsuha would return in the morning. He probably would think his son had just gone out late for a fuck or something. Tatsuha would never leave, not deny his family and the responsibilities of the temple. 

The teenager really hoped that was exactly what his father thought. He desperately wanted to prove his father and family wrong. 

Even though he was not very hungry, Tatsuha finished off the burger, He knew that he did not carry much money to begin with and every meal from this point on would have to be worthwhile. He drank the coffee as well; the caffeine was going to be the only energy boost he would get for the long drive he knew he had ahead of him, wherever that was going. 

He received a few strange looks as the morning rush came into the restaurant. Tatsuha attributed it to his duffle bags, and ignored most of it. He smiled in a friendly way to a few pretty girls, watched a mother trying to quiet down her two children, eyed a few attractive older men, and observed an older man argue with the cashier with a hint of amusement. All in all it was rather normal, mundane. Yet he could not shake the feeling that he was being watched. 

_Dammit, stop having second thoughts…If you're going to let some paranoia get to you then you shouldn't have left in the first place, idiot._

Frustrated with himself, Tatsuha crumpled the paper cup in his hands, gathered up his garbage and bags. He tossed the rubbish into the trash and made like a shot out of the place, glad to see his bike still parked outside in one piece. Within a two-minute period he was turning out of the parking lot and back onto the streets. 

He had on headphones and sunglasses, not bothering with a helmet for the moment. It felt more liberating, like in those movies, to feel the wind in your hair rather than the stuffy confines of something to keep your skull safe. He did not really care about the safety of his skull right then, or the legality of it. As long as he was not caught. 

At a stoplight, he felt a vibration in his pocket, but the normal merry tune was drowned out by the music of Nittle Grasper blaring in his headset. Casting a quick glance up at the light, Tatsuha fished the vibrating cell phone out of his pocket. 

_/Mika (home)/_

He pushed 'end'. 

_Looks like the phone tree has started…Hm, earlier than I thought. Looks like the old man does give a bit of a shit after all._ It should have made him feel special, he thought, but it did not. When his phone rang a second time, he just shut it off. 

----------------- 

I ignored my calls for a while. I think it was at least a week or two before I turned my phone on again. The sadistic, angry part of me wanted them to think I had ended up dead in some ditch. The other part just didn't want to talk. 

I missed them, though. 

I wished they knew that. 

----------------- 

The highway was more welcoming than the crowded streets of the city. Tatsuha was not sure which direction he was heading, but to him it did not matter. He was going. That was all. 

Tatsuha would not let himself think about anything other than the road stretching out ahead of him: not his family, not his friends, not the temple, not school. The only thing keeping that concentration was the constant of Ryuichi Sakuma's voice in the background. 

He started thinking about Ryuichi… 

----------------- 

I hadn't been bothered too much about the television announcement a few months back. Ryuichi was going to be a big movie star or something. I'd follow his career wherever it went, but that didn't mean that I wouldn't miss the music. 

My Nittle Grasper CDs were the only music stuffs I took with me from home. Everything else just seemed superfluous or something. I didn't want to waste valuable battery power on anything but Ryuichi. His music was the only thing that kept me sane for a long, long time. 

It's ironic that it's the same thing that drove me away again. 

But we'll get to that later. 

----------------- 

Tatsuha switched into the second lane to make room for a speeding truck. He glared at it as it passed, sending a large gush of wind, pushing his bike a little. Someone ahead beat him to it and honked at the truck. Tatsuha felt pleased enough with the other driver's actions to go back to ignoring the rest of the world. 

Only a few seconds later did a flash of red catch his eye. The sixteen year-old slightly turned his head to the side to see a snazzy convertible drive by at a speed that almost matched the truck's. The Discman tucked securely to the inside of his jacket traveled back to the beginning of the CD, "Sleepless Beauty" once again filling his ears as he checked out the car. _Now that's the prettiest thing I've seen all day…_ he thought with a little grin. 

The car itself was rather empty. There was just the driver looking almost bored, wearing a hat and sunglasses. All in all, it looked quite a bit like his sister's Ferrari. Yet as he studied it, he noted the differences in sleekness and sound. Joggling his mind around, he guessed it was a mid 90s Corvette LT4, or close to it. Tatsuha watched the vehicle drive ahead before turning his attention back to the road. 

Then a few seconds later, he saw red again. Now giving a slightly annoyed frown to the hot car, Tatsuha turned his head fully to look. It was the same convertible as before, but now it was keeping pace with him, but the driver did not seem to notice him at all. 

Tatsuha eyed the car for a second, and then sped up, pulling ahead of the red car. Not even five seconds later, the car sped to match him. The panic button in his mind went off. 

_What the fuck is this guy trying to pull…_

He sped up again; this time it was enough to cause the vehicles in front of him to become a little wary. Yet, the red Corvette just continued to drive along side Tatsuha and his motorcycle. He felt like he was being challenged to a race and he did not want to be a part of it. Tatsuha's dark eyes narrowed behind tinted lenses as he leaned forward. 

_All right, fine asshole. If you're gonna play that way…_

Eyes glittering with mischief, Tatsuha immediately changed lanes in front of the Corvette, causing it to slow down with a jerk. The teenager smirked as he picked up speed again, zooming away as he weaved through the traffic. The driver of the convertible did not seem phased and he quickly caught up again. Tatsuha thought he had the upper hand because he was able to slip between cars, but the convertible appeared to be just as agile. 

The game gave him a rush he had not felt in a long time. People were beginning to honk at both vehicles, but neither Tatsuha nor the other driver seemed to care in the least. Tatsuha made an almost desperate dash between two eighteen-wheeler trucks, only to find the convertible driving along side him once again as it reappeared. 

_God! Why the hell can't I lose this guy? What the hell does he want from me?_

He swerved into the slowest lane, barely avoiding running right into a white sedan, but this time, the convertible did not follow. Instead, the Corvette went much further ahead. Tatsuha's eyes narrowed as he watched the car change lanes then disappear from his sight all together. 

Ryuichi's voice still blared at his eardrums. 

_Well, that was…strange…_

Suddenly, red was all he saw. 

The bike swerved off of the road into a maze of s curves until Tatsuha was able to slow it down to a reasonable speed. He found himself riding a little ways out from the main highway in a large grass field out in the country. The convertible was parked a ways away onto the field, the shoulder of the highway in the distance. 

Growling in frustration and anger, Tatsuha killed the ignition and hopped off his bike, not even bothering to kick the stand up. He ripped the headphones from his ears as he marched over to the car, feeling the rage build up and pulse through his veins. It had been a stressful few days, before and after he left, and the last thing he had needed was something like that. 

"Just what the fuck are you trying to get away with, you dumbass?" he shouted before he was near. The driver had stepped out and was leaning against the door, regarding the teenager with anything but interest, but the driver looked up when Tatsuha spoke, tilting their head to the side as if silently questioning the meaning of Tatsuha's own words. 

That only served to piss him off further. 

"Look," he grated out, finally within feet of the driver. But that person just held up a finger to their own lips, smiling a little to silence him. For some reason Tatsuha found himself doing so, but not without sending more intensified glares. 

"I didn't expect to find you here," the driver said, leaning back further against his car. 

_…What?_

"At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but then your motorcycle looked so familiar!" 

_…You've got to be kidding me…_

His head lifted up, smiling with good humor. Taking off the sunglasses, merrily amused blue eyes twinkled back at the teenager. 

"…Ryuichi?" 


	3. Chapter 2

**Title:** Predilection  
**Disclaimer:** As usual, dun own Gravi...  
**Pairings:** None really, give one-sided Tatsuha/Ryuichi  
**Warnings:** POV, teeange/adult issues, romance, angst - life in general is a warning, may contain SPOILERS if you have not read Gravi book 12  
**Author's Notes:** Here we are...I have many plans for this fic, and it's all going to unravel slowly, so stay tuned! Lyrics you will see are by Bon Jovi (no, it's not a songfic). 

Thank ye Aja again for beating it! It helps tons! 

Feedback is coveted and worshipped! I love the comments you guys leave, thanks! 

**Chapter 2**

---------------------------------- 

The fanboy in me still squealed with excitement. Ryuichi had not only remembered me, but what my bike looked like, and thought I was important enough to pull over! Or freak out a bit, at least. That had to mean something, right? 

Regardless, I was still a bit wary of, well, everyone, my idol included. Even as I questioned his motives, I didn't think twice when he invited me to go back into town with him. He wasn't hard to follow, not with a car that practically screamed "look at me!" but then, who _wouldn't_ want to look at him? 

Ahh, I'm starting to get a little distracted, eh? I can't help it. Even six years later, I'm still a loyal fanboy. Or fanman. Is that even a word? It sounds like some sadistic second cousin of the sandman or something. 

Fanman. Heh heh. 

----------------- 

The cast and crew were on location. The movie was supposed to be a hit, with big names like Ryuichi Sakuma and Judy Winchester headlining. Tatsuha was not even sure of the plot, but from the glimpses he was able to catch of the set, it looked like it was going to some sort of action drama romance combination, not that that was a helpful observation. The important part was that he was following Ryuichi Sakuma to his personal trailer. 

He was able to suppress the need for a camera. Sort of. 

"We're going to spend about two weeks in Japan. Week here, week in Tokyo. Then we'll be heading off to Sydney, Australia! I'm so excited about that; I've always wanted to go back to Australia! It's so pretty there, have you been to Australia, Tatsuha-kun?" 

Tatsuha shouldered one of his two duffle bags more closely. "Ahm, no." 

"Oh, that's right! You haven't been outside of Japan, eh? Well, I'll have to take you with me someday! We'll have lots of fun, right? Staying at your father's temple must get so boring after a while, no da!" Ryuichi said with a smile as he walked up the few steps to his trailer. 

The teenager blinked, mentally screaming with joy and very shocked and flattered at the same time. Ryuichi had remembered all that about him? It was a strange thing to see, considering sometimes the superstar seemed to not even recognize him at all. He ducked his head a bit with the statement about the temple. 

"Yeah, well, it's going to be a lot more interesting from now on," he replied with a smile of his own. 

Ryuichi took a second too long to make his gaze simply casual, before returning the grin and opening the door. The trailer seemed average, as far as Tatsuha's knowledge with celebrity trailers went. There was a couch, desk, mirror, coat rack, coffee table, stereo, and various personal items. 

"This is where I get to be during the day. We stay at a hotel to sleep," the older man explained as Tatsuha shut the door behind him, dropping his duffle bags down next to it. Ryuichi slipped off his own jacket and just tossed it on the couch. The teenager could not help but smile when he noticed a familiar pink rabbit sitting on that couch. 

"So what's this movie about?" 

The actor turned to face him, blinking once then smiling widely. He gave Tatsuha a playful poke on the nose. "Silly! I can't tell you that, it'd be giving away the plot, no da! If you want to know, you should just come and see it when it's finished, okay?" 

Tatsuha gave a short laugh to that, rubbing his nose a little. "Guess so." 

"What is Tatsuha-kun doing all the way in Osaka, hmmm?" the former singer asked cutely, walking over to the couch and motioning for Tatsuha to do the same. "Errands or something?" 

He twitched at the question. While he would give anything to spend a few seconds with Ryuichi, the last thing he needed was to tell the other man what he was doing. He did know Tohma, after all, and thus had connections to Mika. 

"Or something," he mumbled, plopping down onto the cushy material. "Ohhh, soft…" 

It was Ryuichi's turn to chuckle as he picked up his famous bunny companion, making the rabbit almost dance his way over to where Tatsuha sat. "Kumagorou is glad to see you too, no da! He hasn't seen a familiar face in so long and it was starting to get to him!" Without waiting for a response, he dropped the plush in the teenager's lap, then walked over to the stereo and shifted through a collection of CDs sitting on top. 

The raven-haired boy took the rabbit and petted him softly, looking the plush over. Truth be told, he was slightly jealous of the bunny in all its pinkness. Kumagorou got to go everywhere with Ryuichi. Tatsuha would not have minded being Ryuichi Sakuma's plushie. It sure beat what he had planned – which was nothing. 

His head shot up when he heard music suddenly blaring from the speakers. The older man gave a quiet 'oops!' with a laugh, turning the volume down to a reasonable conversation level. The lyrics were in English, so Tatsuha could only pick out a few things. His English was decent, not amazing, but he could probably hold a conversation with a six year old. 

"Who's this?" he asked, handing the bunny back to his rightful owner as said man sat down. 

"Na, it's an American band called Bon Jovi! I got to listen to a lot of American music when I was doing that solo tour. I really like them and even got to do a welfare concert with them a few years ago! It was so cool! There were lots of bands and artists there." 

"Sounds like a party," Tatsuha said with an amused lopsided grin. 

Ryuichi beamed, hugging the plush. "It was! You would have liked it, I think." 

"Probably." 

"This song is one of my favorites! It's kind of old, from the 80s – you probably weren't even born yet! – but I really like it." He paused as Tatsuha seemed to frown a bit, concentrating on understanding the lyrics. "Sometimes I forget you're so young, Tatsuha-kun. You never look or act like it, you know." Tatsuha blinked in mild surprise at the comment. The older man was watching him carefully, loosely holding his rabbit. There was something behind his eyes that Tatsuha could not place, but it was gone as soon as he noticed. 

"So…it's one of your favorites?" the teenager asked, scooting a little closer to Ryuichi. 

"Yeah! It's so much fun to sing along to, too! It's just got that quality to it, you know?" 

Tatsuha nodded, eyes going over to the stereo before returning to his idol. The man was ageless, truly ageless. "It's hard to believe you're as old as you are too, Sakuma-san." Then he winced at his own words. "Ah, I didn't mean it that way! I'm not saying you're old or anything!" 

_Great, just go and insult the guy, will ya? Tell him that he's probably the hottest guy in the nursing home while you're at it!_

"I mean, you're really cool and everything! Really! You just don't seem like…ah…forget it," he ended sheepishly, messing his hair quickly with a fast hand out of nervous habit. Ryuichi just smiled and laughed, bouncing Kumagorou on one leg. 

"I hope so!" he said, giving Tatsuha a playful pat on the shoulder. "I'm still 30 some odd years young, right?" Ryuichi pointed to his own face as if that was the answer to all. 

Tatsuha was grateful for the understanding, even if he still had made an idiot of himself. "Yeah, that's the best way to put it," he said with an uncomfortable chuckle. 

"Ahh, the chorus is my favorite part!" That was all the warning the sixteen year-old got, as the former singer broke into song along with the voice of Jon Bon Jovi. His English really was very good; he hardly had an accent at all. 

That was when Tatsuha began to understand the lyrics. 

_"Ohh…She's a little runaway.  
Daddy's girl ran fast,  
All those things you couldn't say.  
Ohh…She's a little runaway.  
Daddy's girl ran fast,  
Now she works the night away.  
Oohh…She's a little runaway."_

----------------- 

To say that I nearly shit my pants is too tame a description. When I finally translated what exactly Ryuichi had chosen for us to listen to, I nearly bolted at that moment. I'm still not entirely sure what kept me sitting on that couch as Ryuichi kept singing along. I stopped trying to understand what he was singing, I knew enough. 

He couldn't have possibly known, so I acted as casually as I could through the song. We sat there and talked through a few loops of that CD. It struck me as odd that he'd always choose to sing along with that one song, but I generally ignored it because it was his favorite. 

Strangely ironic song to have as a favorite, though. 

He'd told me that this was their very first day in Japan, and he'd caught an early flight so he was there before he needed to be. The next day the real shooting began. He was even kind enough to invite me to stay and watch. I flirted with the idea, playing out the various scenarios in my head how that would go. Some of them consisted of me magically getting cast as his new co-star and love interest. Other ideas fancied the thought that I'd get to stay with him in his trailer; we'd get to be so close that we couldn't live without each other. 

But, in the end...things...didn't really turn out the way I imagined. 

----------------- 

"Are you okay, Tatsuha-kun? I can ask room service to bring up something else if you don't want yakisoba!" 

Tatsuha blinked out of his daze, shaking his head and giving Ryuichi a smile. "No no, sorry. Didn't mean to space out on you." 

"It's okay, as long as you're not getting food poisoning or something!" Ryuichi said with a relieved air to his voice, then gave a questioning look to the food. It caused Kumagorou to slip off the actor's head towards the food, but Tatsuha's hand shot out and grabbed the plush before rabbit was added to their menu. 

"Kumagorou better be careful or I'll eat him up too!" Tatsuha teased with a wink. Ryuichi beamed and took the bunny back, scolding him for being so careless before setting him down on the table. 

The hotel rooms rented out for the stars of the movie were generous, though Tatsuha figured that Ryuichi was used to that sort of treatment. It seemed that Ryuichi would be staying alone as well, because there was only a single king-sized bed in the center of the room. The two of them were sitting out on the balcony at a small table eating food the actor had ordered. There was a light breeze and evening was slowly taking over the skyline. 

All in all, it had been a very good day. 

After taking another bite, Tatsuha held loosely onto his chopsticks, watching the other man take a generous serving for himself. "I've gotta ask, though I'm sure you've been bombarded with this question before, but…" Ryuichi looked up expectantly, chopsticks hanging from his mouth. "Why'd you decide to take on acting and stop singing?" 

The brown-haired man nodded, accepting that as a worthwhile question. Then he answered with a shrug. "I'm not really stopping singing; I like it too much just to stop! But I like other things too, and acting makes me really happy. I want to try that for a while," he finished, taking another bite. "Does my decision disappoint you, Tatsuha-kun?" 

"Ah, no! Not at all," he answered in a rush. "I'd follow your career wherever it went. Hell, if you decided to be a fry cook or botanist or something, I'd still be a fan." That was probably the most truthful thing he had said all day. "As long as you're happy," he finished with a genuine smile. 

Ryuichi blinked at that, letting his eyes run over the teenager's face. Tatsuha started to feel a little uncomfortable with the scrutiny, then practically melted as his idol's whole body seemed to warm up with a smile of his own. 

"Thank you, Tatsuha," Ryuichi said honestly and seriously, though his face did not lose that warmth. "Not many people have said that." 

"Well, um, I do mean it. Really," Tatsuha pushed further, trying to fight the urge to cuddle the other man, and at the very least blush. The look on the former frontman's face was just too appealing. For a moment, that light was back in his blue eyes, then once again it flashed away as Ryuichi laughed with a bubbly smile. 

"Hehe, you're too cute, Tatsuha-kun!" Said boy was promptly given a playful poke on the shoulder with Ryuichi's pinky finger. 

Tatsuha grinned. "I was hoping for something more along the lines of incredibly sexy and devilishly handsome," he chided, trying to seductively wink and play with a strand of hair. Ryuichi laughed warmly, tilting his head to the side with amusement. 

"Well, that too." He smiled around another mouthful of yakisoba. 

----------------- 

I can't for the life of me imagine a more perfect day before that one! Everything just seemed to be going right for once. Ryuichi was so friendly and casual, cute and sexy. He made it feel like we were on the same level, that I wasn't just some kid who drooled after him every time he got on stage. 

All of that made me want to stay so badly. I could just sneak away with Ryuichi, be a roadie or water boy or coffee guy or something! Maybe he would never tell Tohma, and my family could just keep moving on with their lives like nothing ever happened, and I could have my happily ever after with the man I'd wanted for years. 

I guess the stars weren't made for wishing that night. 


	4. Chapter 3

**Title:** Predilection  
**Pairings:** None really, give one-sided Tatsuha/Ryuichi  
**Warnings:** POV, teeange/adult issues, romance, angst - life in general is a warning, may contain SPOILERS if you have not read Gravi book 12  
**Author's Notes:** Thanks everyone for the reviews, I really appreciate and live for it! ; 

Thankie to Aja again for beating it! 

Feedback is humpable! 

**Chapter 3**

------------------------ 

I knew I had to leave the next morning. It sucked beyond the most suckiest thing in the world, but it's what I had to do. I knew that Ryuichi would eventually find out what was going on if I stayed, and he would tell Tohma, who would tell Mika, who would tell dad and Eiri, and I'd be on my ass performing funeral rights all over again. At the very least, he'd ask about school and all that shit. Stupid shit. 

Despite what everyone tells you, the teenage years suck. Almost as much as that suckiest beyond sucky I just told you about. 

But why did the universe have to be so _cruel_ as to use all that to tear me away from Ryuichi? I felt like I was finally _getting_ somewhere with him! That's all I was given, that little glimpse to the dream I'd been trying to seize since I first saw Nittle Grasper on TV. 

Murphy has always had a fucking ass sense of humor, the bastard. 

Why was it so wrong to want to be around Ryuichi? 

----------------- 

The television mumbled incoherently in the background. The changing colors casting a glow were the only light in the room, illuminating the faces watching it with boredom. Tatsuha and Ryuichi, along with Kumagorou, were lounging on the bed, flipping channels. Ryuichi was on his back, head hanging upside-down off the edge, holding Kumagorou to his chest and the remote outwards. Tatsuha was only an inch or two away, although he had started out at least a foot away, lying on his stomach with his chin resting on his folded arms. 

After dinner Tatsuha had brought out his camera. Ryuichi and Kumagorou had a ball taking pictures of one another and their guest as well. They took pictures of the city, the room, even the left over dishes from room service. Then Tatsuha asked if he could have one special picture and he got it. Ryuichi sitting on the bed, holding Kumagorou close with a big smile and a shine in his eyes, backlit by the sliding glass doors behind with the setting sun illuminating the skyline. 

"If I see another one of those banking commercials I'm going to kill something." 

A wave of laughter followed. "Na, you don't need to get violent, Tatsuha-kun!" He paused, holding his plushie to his own ear. "Ahh, Kumagorou agrees with you, though! He's getting sick of the same things too. You get along so well!" 

Tatsuha propped his head up with a hand, giving the former singer an amused smile. He let his eyes casually run down the length of the older man's body when the TV distracted the actor. "Naturally. I happen to be very good with rabbits." 

Ryuichi snickered again, rolling back over onto his stomach. He bumped Tatsuha in the process, and even as he got into a comfortable spot, there was no longer any space between them. Tatsuha felt more self-conscious, and his nerves were on fire. He still casually leaned more of his weight against the actor. Ryuichi did not seem to notice. 

"Kumagorou and I had a good time today, Tatsuha-kun. We should do this all the time!" The smile the brown-haired man flashed could have melted a glacier. Tatsuha found himself truly, deeply regretting his next words. 

"Yeah, that would be really cool if we could." Ryuichi looked a little put off. Yet there was something about the look on his face that hinted perhaps he was expecting that answer. 

"Could? Does Tatsuha-kun not want to spend time with us?" he asked with a pout, starting to chew on one of the pink plushie's ears. 

The teenager looked shocked by the mere thought. "Of course I do! I just-" 

"-can't?" Ryuichi filled in. He nodded, looking at Kumagorou in thought for a moment. The television continued to drone on, still flashing a glow into the room. Tatsuha did not know what to say, if he should speak at all. Instead, he just watched the different colors play on the contours of the other man's face. 

"Tatsuha-kun is leaving, huh?" 

He blinked back into reality, dark eyes running across the former singer's profile. Ryuichi gently patted his rabbit's head, smiling a jaded little smile. "Tatsuha-kun is going to go away for a while, no da." He turned to look at the boy with his stage eyes, shining with a worldly quality that was hard to decipher 

"Where is he going?" 

The dark-haired boy's mouth opened, then shut. Did Ryuichi know? He highly doubted it, yet even still… 

"Is he going someplace we can't follow? Or does he just want to go alone?" The television seemed almost nonexistent. Ryuichi leaned in closely, until their faces were only centimeters apart. "Why does such a beautiful boy want to be by himself?" 

Tatsuha did not know what to say. He gaped, suddenly feeling the weight of the air around them, of the other man's words. Ryuichi simply watched with something that could only be described as worry and eternal patience. It was that look that pulled the teen in like a moth to a flame. Yet to him, Ryuichi was more that just a simple flame, he was a supernova. 

It was an explosion the size of that nova that he felt when he closed the distance between them. He did not want to hear any more words, just revel in the feeling of the lips opening beneath his. 

----------------- 

I'm not even going to try and attempt describing the feeling of kissing Ryuichi for the first time. Saying something like it was the gates of Heaven opening is just not doing justice. Ryuichi is Ryuichi, and nothing can compare to him. Feeling him, it was an honor. Kissing him was like taking a sip of sin, and it was the best sin I'd tasted. 

Well, I guess that was an attempt, but it really doesn't even begin to scratch the surface. 

The second kiss was even better than the first, and so on and so forth. I lost track of how many kisses there were as we went along, and that was perfectly fine with me. Ryuichi had such a unique taste that I couldn't stop myself, though he didn't seem to be complaining. But even that didn't give me a clear enough sign to what he had planned. 

When Kumagorou had strangely disappeared and the light in Ryuichi's eyes changed to something darker, I was beginning to realize what was really happening. It was Ryuichi's confidently searching hand that began to pull the threads of my undoing. 

----------------- 

The glow that woke Tatsuha up no longer came from the television. Sunlight was peaking through the curtains, sending beams onto sleepy eyes that would rather retreat back into the world of dreams. The bed was too warm and welcoming, but the call of the morning was pulling him from rest. 

Tatsuha groaned as he rolled over, trying to shut his face from the approaching day. Yet instead of the day he found the sun itself lying just next to him. Ryuichi looked as peaceful and content as anyone could be, amongst the tangled sheets. That was a sight that he would have liked to wake up to every morning, it was as comforting as it was appealing. He let his sleepy gaze linger on the former singer for a few minutes before finally pulling the covers back to slip silently out of bed. 

Leaving like a one night stand was the worst possible thing he could think of, but he decided to do it anyway. He slipped his pants on quickly, shirt following soon after. His duffle bags were repacked in a few seconds, except for his most prized possession – his camera. The image of Ryuichi was too tempting to pass up. Turning off the flash, Tatsuha took his last picture of the actor, hiding the camera back into the depths of his bag. 

Without looking back, Tatsuha shouldered one bag and grabbed the other, making a beeline for the door. The pang in his heart…he just had to ignore. 

"Tatsuha-kun?" 

He froze, hand almost at the door handle. His skin prickled in a pleasant and frightened tingle. The teenager felt his heart sink into his stomach. 

"Leaving already?" Tatsuha took a deep breath and turned around. Ryuichi looked even better sitting up, hotel sheets covering his lower half. Brown hair was slightly mussed, hanging around his face and eyes in all the right places. Tatsuha's heart moved its way back up into his chest to give a powerful beat. 

"I see." He was smiling. 

----------------- 

He just let me go. Ryuichi Sakuma gave me a kiss on the cheek from himself and Kumagorou, told me I was always welcome, and opened the door. I just walked through and left. 

Leaving Ryuichi felt worse than leaving home. I felt a little guilty about that, all things considered. While Ryuichi was Ryuichi, my family was still my family, and my home was still my home. Yet there was just something in the way Ryuichi looked at me that made me feel wanted, even if it was only temporary. 

Not to sound like a brooding, ungrateful son, but I never felt wanted with my family. I knew I was needed, taking up Eiri's place and all that jazz, but even still, it was Eiri they wanted, not me. Ironically, I think it was seeing that genuine want that helped me decide to leave. 

Looking back on it, maybe I have been ungrateful. 

I've always liked sex, if that wasn't obvious to you before. I'm quite open about it, too. I was too reckless with it when I was younger, though. I started before I should have and continued on without looking back once. I've almost always enjoyed it, even the times when it wasn't one hundred percent consensual - Yes, there have been those times, but don't you dare call it rape, because it wasn't. – I've liked it because, even if for only those moments, someone else truly wants to be around you, wants to touch you and be with you. 

And it feels good, too. 

My family has always been full of lonely people. I guess it was stupid of me to think going out on my own was going to solve that. 

----------------- 

"Sweetie, I'm not trying to rain on your parade but you don't have the proper job experience, references, equip-" 

"I know, I know but I can get it!" Tatsuha insisted, sitting further forward in his chair. He practically pleaded with his eyes, turning on a bit of the puppy dog eyes too. 

She sat there studying him for the nth time that afternoon. The begging was annoying as it was cute, it seemed, for she finally sighed with a short bow of the head. Putting on a good smile, she nodded, looking exhausted. 

"All right. One week, only because you're a nice boy who wants this so badly. You should think about getting an album for your pictures in the mean time." With that, the woman handed back the old, tattered folder. Tatsuha took it with a very thankful smile and gave her a graciously deep bow of thanks before he left. 

Walking down the short steps in front of the average-looking building, Tatsuha was practically skipping. He had a chance, even if it was a small one. He had enough money to buy some of the things he needed, and there were personal items he had brought to sell for just such an occasion. He was feeling better than he had in days. 

He mounted his bike, wiping the extra sweat from his brow. Dazaifu was humid and hot that July day, but Tatsuha was in too much of a good mood to let it affect him. 

He had left Osaka without looking back once. He sold a pair of shoes in Okayama to start to build up his personal funding; noticing the dent just paying for gas was putting in his plans. Tatsuha had decided to go south, away from Kyoto and Tokyo, off of Honshu and down, down to Kyushu where he felt no one would think to find him. He had considered Nagasaki, but decided on a smaller city instead. Right outside of the island's largest city was Dazaifu. He liked the slightly quieter feel, and the plethora of temples and shrines reminded him of home. 

High school was out of reach at that moment. What he was concentrating on was setting himself up a new life, so his first goal was to get a job. Somewhere along his sixteen years Tatsuha had gathered a bit of good karma, for upon reaching Dazaifu in one piece, he found the office for the city's newspaper rather easily. Things could not have been better, because they were hiring and Tatsuha planned to bring his love of photography as a worthwhile source of income. 

He had a chance at that spot and he refused to pass that up. It may have been a hesitant offer at best, but the opportunity was still there if he managed to pull himself together in time. What thrilled him the most, however, was that he was choosing his job. Its success lied in his hands and ambition, and it gave him a rush with the feeling of liberation that he had amost forgotten was possible. 

----------------- 

I spent my first night there sleeping near the train station on a bench. Benches had become my new best friends, but I really didn't mind. They served their purpose. Too bad Dazaifu was notorious for mobster activity. 

If you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm. 

----------------- 

The third day there, Tatsuha found himself with the proper camera equipment for something other than a flashy, pocket, digital one. He had developed more pictures from his digital camera to add to his portfolio and try to be more convincing. Part of it was for a different reason, though. A picture of a smiling Ryuichi in the Osaka hotel room rested peacefully in his wallet, hidden behind old receipts and his license. 

He had taken to walking most places, wanting to keep his bike in the best condition and save money on gas as much as he could. Almost all he had eaten the past three days were dried ramen right out of the package. It was starting to make him sick to his stomach, but Tatsuha would not dare chance buying something more. 

Gnawing on such a piece, he mumbled to himself as he felt the dried noodle break underneath his teeth. It was not the best food for sustenance, but it would do. He hoped a steady income would quickly change that. 

Tatsuha was sitting on his usual bench near the train station as that platform closed down for the night. There was an elderly man there who cleaned up the place at night. He questioned Tatsuha the first night he was there, and then left him to be on his bench. The man's name, Tatsuha had learned, was Yasuo, and he had retired a few years ago, doing this job only for an extra little income to support himself and his wife. The night before, Tatsuha had received a cutely sized package of crab sushi from Yasuo as a delivery from his wife when she heard about 'the boy that sleeps on a bench'. They had assumed he was a high school or college flunkie trying to get back in. Tatsuha just did not try to correct that assumption. 

He sighed, frowning a bit around another crunch. He was missing that sushi already. 

"Excuse me." 

Mid-chew, Tatsuha stopped, turning his head slightly to look up at the person standing in front of him. It was not Yasuo, but a much younger woman. 

_Wow._

"You'll have to pardon me for being so forward, I usually keep such impulses to myself, but I've seen you sitting by yourself here for the past few days. If you don't mind me asking, why?" She appeared so soft but was hard spoken at the same time. Tatsuha guessed she must have been in her mid-twenties, but she had the presence of an independent woman. She almost reminded him of Mika, but he quickly dispelled the thought. 

Tatsuha switched on a charming smile, quickly tucking the ramen away into a duffle bag. No need to let her see him eat the 'poor man's cuisine' out of the bag. "I'm waiting for the doors of opportunity to open," he said cryptically through the smile. It earned him a pleasant laugh in return. 

"Did you miss your ride or lose your ticket?" 

He shook his head. "No ma'am, my ticket is downtown." To that he got a slightly puzzled look. "I'm trying to land a job." 

The woman nodded in understanding. Tatsuha took in her manner of dress. She was in a casual dress and shirt, but looked more like she had come from a business meeting or something of the sort, yet all she carried was a purse. 

"So you're staying at a train station?" 

"Well…um…yup." He grinned widely, letting an arm rest on the back of the bench. This time she shook her head, but she was smiling too. 

"I take it you're on your own, then?" He nodded a 'yes' in response. "No one at all?" He shook his head. "That's unfortunate. I couldn't imagine what a cutie like you would be doing all out alone at night." Noting the flirtatious curve to her lips, Tatsuha raised an eyebrow, before returning the expression perfectly. 

"I could say the same thing to you, Miss," he said, idly playing with a few of the longer strands of his hair. 

"Well," she said, looking pleased and taking a seat next to him. Close enough to be friendly, but far away enough to still have her own space. "Where are you applying? Don't worry, I'm not trying to steal a potential job from you." 

The teenager gave a short laugh to that. "Newspaper, I want to be a photographer for it." 

Her hazel eyes seemed to light up at that. "Oh, that sounds like fun! I hope you get it." 

He grinned. "Yeah, believe me, so do I." There was a short pause as he took in her face again. She had a softness but also a wordly quailty. That almost reminded him of Ryuichi, a name that sent warm tingles and sharp pangs to his heart at the same time. "It's nice to meet you, Miss…?" 

She sat up straightly, giving him a gentle bow of the head in greeting. "Hitomi Yoshikuni." Looking back up at her new acquaintance, she nodded towards him. "And you?" 

Tatsuha repeated the gesture. "Tatsuha U…eda," he lied at the last moment. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Ueda-san." Hearing his 'new' family name like that felt so wrong. This young woman was pretty; he hated having to lie to her. 

"'Tatsuha' is fine," he reassured with a smile. At that she gave him a long look, which he simply returned with the same intensity. 

"You're a nice guy," Hitomi finally said like it was a fact. "No place to stay?" She got another shake of the head. "I have a couch I can offer you if you'd like. Until you're able to stand on your own two feet, that is." 

Tatsuha practically gushed. 

----------------- 

Hitomi said she didn't want rent money. She knew I couldn't help pay for much food; she had seen my high class meal of dried ramen. All she said was that she wanted to help someone out and that maybe later we could think of something I could do to repay her. 

Well, we found something pretty quickly…and all I could remember was the way Ryuichi had looked only a few nights before. 


	5. Chapter 4

**Title:** Predilection  
**Disclaimer:** Gravitation or it's charas are not mine, but that of Maki Murakami-Sensei  
**Pairings:** Tatsuha/OC (Hitomi) (dun worry, no self-inserts or mary sue-ness)  
**Warnings:** POV, teeange/adult issues, romance, angst - life in general is a warning, may contain SPOILERS if you have not read Gravi book 12  
**Author's Notes:** YAY! Finally, after a long, long wait, I am back into the groove! I still have many plans for this fic and do not even dream of considering giving ig up! NODS Just been very busy with school, but never fear, here come's Chapter 4, and Chapter 5 is already in the works! 

I would also like to note that I'm pretending the series really does end at Book 12, and ignoring the online continuation of the manga X3 Heh heh 

Thankies for being so paitent with me! 

This chapter is UNBETA'd, so please...be kind XD;; was trying to get it out soon! 

**Chapter 4**

---------------------------------- 

If you know me, you know that I am not a morning person. It's not that I hate the sun, or the going to school or work part (though that was never enjoyable). It was the getting up part. My brain does not connect to the rest of my body until at least 9 o'clock in the morning. My new job didn't seem to understand that. 

But then again, who was I to complain? I'd gotten the job I wanted and had a roof over my head. 

Mornings never changed, though. 

----------------- 

"Tatsuha, you're going to be late!" That was the fifth wake-up call that morning. Tatsuha responded with stuffing his head further into the pillow. Perhaps if he played dead, maybe she would go away… 

Instead, he got a sigh. "Dammit, I'm not your mother…" Then the protective blankets of warmth were torn from the teenager's body, who immediately curled up on himself, reaching out for them. Upon finding none, Tatsuha went back to feigning death. That was when the alarm went off at another nine-minute interval, some shout of the local weather beating his hears. 

Dark eyes went open then, he groaned. "Is it really only Tuesday…?" 

Hitomi hit the snooze button, stealing the boy's pillow too. He pouted, though he would never admit to it. 

"Yes, and you're going to miss your morning debriefing if you don't hurry up." 

Tatsuha just grumbled in response, wondering if he could slide under the mattress as well. When he had left home, Tatsuha had always thought he would have more independence, which he did really. But why did mornings never change? 

Well, there had been one morning that was different. That morning in the hotel, Osaka… 

"—and that's, are you listening?" 

He blinked, coming back to reality. Hitomi sighed, shaking her head, causing her soft back hair to come loose from its clip. "Just hurry up. If they keep you longer, we won't make it to the restaurant in time tonight, okay?" 

The teenager finally sighed, letting himself roll off the bed and onto the floor. When she saw that phase one was in process, Hitomi left the room to tend to breakfast. When he could not hear the pad of her socked feet on the hardwood floor anymore, Tatsuha pulled himself up to a kneeling position. Running a hand through his messy black hair, he sighed again, looking at the ends. 

"I need a haircut." He turned slightly, catching a glimpse of the morning in the southern part of Japan. The sun was reaching its fingers over the horizon, trying to grasp through the little buildings, houses, and temples, as if to hold them all together in its palms. 

Tatsuha looked away. Time to get dressed. 

----------------- 

The air was filled with a roar of laughter as Tatsuha came out of the dark room. A young man close to the door, Kazuhiro, patted him on the shoulder, bringing Tatsuha right into the conversation. Smoke hung close to the ceiling, a fan gently swirling it about the room. A bigger man, middle-aged and looking quite satisfied, continued, 

"But it wasn't until after they realized that the beaker was plastic, and they were using it on a hot plate!" Everyone laughed again, and Tatsuha managed a chuckle, though he was still a little lost. The man wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. "So my son had it smoking, running the thing outside before the fire alarms went off! I was planning on being upset but when he told me I laughed too hard to make up for it!" 

"Ahhh, the kids these days are so much different than when we grew up," someone else commented. There was a general nodding of heads about the room from the middle-aged men. Kazuhiro just shook his head and started to lead Tatsuha and himself away. 

"It's always fun listening to them talk about their kids," he said in a low voice with a chuckle. "Kinda makes me want my own…but not really at the same time." 

Tatsuha grinned. "Yeah, when I feel the need for minions is when I start considering it." 

Kazuhiro laughed more loudly at that. He patted Tatsuha on the back, mouth open to say something else when the door opened just in front of them, a high school aged girl walked through, blinking and bowing to them in apology of rushing in. 

"Excuse me!" she said, holding up a folder for everyone to see. The conversation in the room stopped, all fingers ceased typing their articles for the day. "Sasaki-san has just received a fax of a growing story up near Tokyo!" 

Murmuring quickly flowed throughout the place. Kazuhiro nudged Tatsuha in the side, who just shrugged. Big news in Tokyo did not always make it down there, or was important. It was only when the girl took a moment to stare too long at Tatsuha was his interest suddenly piqued. 

"Sasaki-san said she wants this to be in tomorrow morning's paper. She says it's important." 

That stare. Tatsuha frowned. That was not the type of thing he needed to hear when he had a dinner-date that night. 

----------------- 

It really was a nice restaurant. More western-style design compared to the traditional qualities of that town. Tatsuha sat there, fiddling with the salt and pepper shakers on the table as Hitomi quickly checked her cell phone messages. He had been feeling pensive all day after that announcement at the newspaper. 

A tap of fingernails just a few inches away from his hands broke Tatsuha out of his trance. He blinked, looking over to the woman across from him. The olive of her skin glowed just perfectly in the lighting at their table. Tatsuha could not help but smile at that. She smiled sweetly back. 

"What's that look for?" 

"Hmm? What look?" he returned the question in a teasing tone. 

Hitomi shook her head with that same smile, hiding her cell phone back into the depths of her purse. "Oh, nothing. But you look really…distracted tonight, baby, is there anything wrong? Did you get your thumb on the lens of one of your shots?" 

Tatsuha scoffed at that. "Hey, that was a shot from a shit-ass camera from a convenience store…and if I _recall_, you were the one to take it, Hitomi." 

"Mmm, too skilled for that type of rookie mistake, I presume?" she teased, leaning forward a bit. 

Tatsuha smirked back. "Damn right. I happen to be skilled in quite a few things" 

"Don't I know it!" They smiled together. 

Seconds later, their dinners were placed in front of them, each thanking the waitress with a bow before breaking apart their chopsticks. "Thank you for this food," they said in unison, digging in. Or Hitomi dug in, leaving Tatsuha to poke at his food. 

"Oh sweetie," she said, nudging him under the table. Tatsuha jumped a bit at that, blinking innocently at the woman. "I know you're not a garbage disposal like most men, but you've got to eat." He nodded, and proceeded to put a bit of rice in his mouth. Hitomi sighed. "What's bothering you?" 

"Nothing," he replied around chewing his most reliable dish. 

"That's a load of bull," Hitomi said disapprovingly. Tatsuha had quickly discovered that in the company of others, Hitomi was the perfect, polite, modest, and submissive woman. But when she was with Tatsuha, it was a whole different story… 

She really did remind him of Mika sometimes. 

"You know you can tell me." 

Tatsuha eyed her cautiously for a moment, before sighing in defeat. "Yeah, well…it's stupid." He scratched the back of his head out of nervous habit. "I dunno even what it really is, but there's this big article coming out tomorrow." 

"Isn't that a _good_ thing?" 

"Well, yeah!" he burst out, before quieting himself down when other people turned to stare. "But like, the new intern kept staring at me all weird when she announced it." 

Hitomi raised a delicate brow. "Maybe you're going to work on it?" 

Tatsuha shook his head, causing his black hair to bounce lightly. "No, it's just a relay of a report from Tokyo, but…it just gives me this weird, creepy…forbidding feeling like in the horror movies when the slasher guy is about to pop out with his chain saw and cut your arm off or something." 

To that, she laughed merrily. He did like her laugh. "You _really_ need to stop watching those horrible American movies. They have no real plot but to see people blow up." 

Tatsuha grinned. "Yeah, I know." 

Giving him a soft pat on his hand, Hitomi went back to her meal. "I wouldn't worry about it, though. I can't think of many people with chainsaws in this little town." 

As anxiety inducing as chainsaws and psychos sounded, it placated Tatsuha enough to down the rest of his rice, miso, and even a bit of the tempura that night. 

----------------- 

Hitomi really was like a younger, less evil Mika. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister. But it's kind of creepy when you're screwing the girl, you know? My sister's hot and everything, but she's still my sister. 

…Maybe if we were the last people on earth. You know, holding the future of the human race in our hands and all that jazz. 

Anyway! I didn't really think about the article until the next morning. But I did spend a lot of time just sitting and thinking. Sometimes it's good to sit and think, just stare out the window or something. It wasn't depressing, just…thinking time. 

The more I thought about Mika, the more I kind of missed her telling me to get my lazy ass out of bed in the mornings she'd stay at the temple. Okay, maybe those weren't the fondest memories, but it shows I was missing my family, okay? Even Eiri's eye roll and annoyed, "Shut up so I can get some work done." If you knew the guy like I did, that was an endearing response. 

Even a teeny, tiny…miniscule part of me missed the futon I used to sleep in. 

I hated to admit it at the time, but I was ill with the sickness of the home variety. 

If anything, the next morning just twisted the knife a little further… 

----------------- 

The sun was trickling into the room, though to sleepy eyes it was blinding. Tatsuha cuddled the cup of tea in his hands, letting the warmth seep into his hands comfortingly, and frequently taking a sip of the much needed caffeine boost. Hitomi started to serve the rice out of the cooker in the kitchen. It was all a very domestic scene indeed. 

But as groggy as he was, Tatsuha could not ignore the sound of one of those nice bowls crashing to the ground. He shot up, making his way to the kitchen to find Hitomi standing there, spoon dripping rice onto the ground, ceramic bits shattered all over the tiled floor…in her other hand was a newspaper, the paper that Tatsuha's job put out every morning. 

He had never experienced a sinking feeling in his stomach as great as then. The kitchen was deathly quiet, and neither moved. 

The tension in the air with the unnerving stillness lasted for some time. Slowly, Hitomi was able to turn around, morning hair a mess, and hold out the paper to her current lover. Tatsuha met her eyes, locking with the confused hazel, before barely turning down to see a very familiar photo with the caption "Have you seen this person?" 

Tatsuha felt his mouth go dry, forcing his eyes to wander over to the headline… 

_Boy Still Missing; N-G In-Laws and Novelist's Family Not Giving Up Search._

He wanted to throw up. 


	6. Chapter 5

**Title:** Predilection  
**Disclaimer:** Gravitation or it's charas are not mine, but that of Maki Murakami-Sensei  
**Pairings:** Tatsuha/OC (Hitomi) (dun worry, no self-inserts or mary sue-ness)  
**Warnings:** POV, teeange/adult issues, romance, angst - life in general is a warning, may contain SPOILERS if you have not read Gravi book 12  
**Author's Notes:** Awesome! Chapter 5! Yay! Shorter than my other ones, but I wanted to keep it within the realm of...uh...this part of the story? Yes, yes this part I'm finally getting back into the groove of this, so hopefully it will come out well 

UNBETA'd again, because I am teh lazy and really need to catch up with these chapters. 

And thank you for all the wonderful reviews! It makes me happy to read them and really inspires me to continue writing! Huggles to all! 

**Chapter 5**

-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Some part of me was flattered – yeah, it was nice to know that my loving family cared enough. No, really…I honestly didn't think it would cause that much of a fuss. Hell, if even Tohma was in on the act then they were getting desperate. 

Hitomi let me see the entire article – it carried on further in the newspaper. There was a picture of Tohma and my sister talking to the press while trying to get to their car. Tohma looked composed as ever, the undeniably self-controlled President Seguchi. But Mika, man…she looked upset. Really upset, but more at the press. She looked really…sad. 

And if that didn't make me feel guilty as all hell then I don't know what did. 

----------------- 

The room was thick with silence. The paper lay on the living room table, not forgotten. Tatsuha just stared at it, at the picture of himself and family. Hitomi had her forehead in her hands, shaking her head and rubbing her temples to try and sooth the oncoming headache. But it was the silence that was unbearable. The silence was impossibly loud. 

With perhaps a sense of pity, the young woman finally lifted her head, confused hazel eyes turning towards the boy in question. Tatsuha barely shifted his gaze to meet hers. He was expecting some harsh words about then, raised voices, the whole deal. That's what it was like at home, at least, and Tatsuha knew he deserved every bit of it right then. 

But all he heard was a soft, sad sounding question of his name. "Uesugi?" 

The dark-haired boy nodded in response. 

"So, you lied." It was stating the obvious, but Tatsuha gave her a courtesy nod as well. "Sixteen…" To that, he looked down at the floor. "Argh, I can't BELIEVE this!" New strength in her voice found, Hitomi all but jumped to her feet. Tatsuha felt very small right then. 

"Do you have ANY idea what could have happened?" He didn't respond. Hitomi took an angry breath in, turning away and stomping towards the window. Before she made it, the woman spun around, pointing an accusing finger. Tatsuha watched the morning sunlight make her well-manicured nails shine as they pinpointed his mistakes. 

"You could—_I_ could be arrested! You…you lied and didn't even think about what if everything went wrong? Did you _really_ think that your family would just sit back and do nothing? Are you that _naïve_?" 

Tatsuha winced at the sharp edge of her words, turning his eyes down a degree. "Yes," he said, realizing how self-pitying that sounded. 

Hitomi's frustration was released when a hard, stinging slap was dealt against Tatsuha's right cheek. Dark eyes wide with surprise, Tatsuha just held his position, face turned from the force of the blow. He deserved it. 

"You…" 

"…" 

The hand that hit touched the growing redness gently, before two arms came to wrap around his neck. Letting out a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding, Tatsuha carefully returned the embrace. 

"I'm sorry…I didn't need to do that." 

"No," he breathed into her shoulder, comforted by the strands of hair that rose off her back with his breath. "I deserved it, and a lot more." 

"…Yeah, you're right, you do." But Hitomi's unmade-up lips gave a slight curve to that. Hearing it in her voice, Tatsuha was able to smile back, looking past her shoulder towards the window and the growing daylight. "I just wish you would have told me the truth…" 

Tatsuha pulled back so he could watch the woman and gave a snort of amusement. "Right. Like you would have done the same thing?" 

Hitomi opened her mouth to respond, then reconsidered. "No, you're right. But…I don't know. It's just…" She let the words fall away, watching the man – no, the young man, the boy that she had been allowing to live in her house for the past few weeks. In her bed. "Can you at least…I think I'm entitled to know why you left in the first place? And why all the way down here?" 

Tatsuha averted his eyes again. His hands were resting on the small of her back, and he let his thumbs slowly massage the curve there. When he was able to look back, she appeared more composed and waiting to listen. 

"I wanted control of my life again." The words slipped out easily, and Tatsuha paused to really think that over. That was the bottom line, wasn't it? Or perhaps it was something a bit more childish. _I wanted them to want me back._ "I didn't like the future that was planned out for me and I didn't like the…I hated the fact that my family didn't give a crap. They're always too busy and too preoccupied with something else. I was sick of all the shit that built up, so…I left. I came here 'cause it was far away enough for me." 

It was Hitomi's turn to look away, unsure of how to respond. But when she returned her attention to Tatsuha, those soft hands began to run through even softer, short black hair. 

"I'm sorry, baby." Tatsuha just shrugged. "You know…that you can't stay here anymore." 

He froze a bit at that, but wasn't surprised. "Yeah, I figured," he said bluntly. 

The sudden response hurt a little, but Hitomi knew he was still young. Much younger than she had thought. "But—" that caught his attention "—I want to help." 

Tatsuha felt bad at hearing that. "No, it's okay. Sorry. You've helped enough, and I appreciate it—" 

A petite finger silenced the teenager's lips. "Really. You can't stay here, but maybe there's somewhere else I can help you get to?" 

He watched her carefully. A long moment passed, the air seeming tense. Tatsuha gingerly pulled her finger away, but didn't let go of her hand. "Why do you want to help me so bad? I thought you'd tell me to go back or something." 

This time Hitomi shrugged. "You kept your secrets long enough, Tatsuha," she said with a small smile. "Let me have mine too." 

----------------- 

She never did tell me why she was so damn intent on helping me. I still don't know. But she did suggest me going to see my family or trying to reconcile differences and all that crap. Yeah, we had a few more fights in the last few days I was there, but I know I couldn't have gotten anywhere without her. 

I mean it. Hitomi was able to kick my butt into gear after moping about the article. I never went back to work 'cause they'd know who got to star in one of their best selling issues. 

But yeah, she helped me figure things out, get stuff arranged. The more she did it too, the more she reminded me of Mika. And damn I was really beginning to miss her, nagging and all. Eiri too. I saw him on TV the day before I left – he was promoting the new paperback release of a book. The question did come around to the disappearance of his now infamous younger brother. But, in classic Eiri style, he said, 

"That's none of your business." 

Yup, just blunt. Short and sweet. 

I couldn't read him. I really wished I could. Most of all I wanted Eiri to be worried, too. Mr. Cool-no-feelings-face-but-I-like-to-fuck-pink, all mighty best son of all time! No, I really wanted him to worry, 'cause I worry about him a lot. The whole family does. All the time. 

But even the hope that Eiri could care didn't stop me. I was about to embark on what would be a big life change. Fucking HUGE life change. 

And either the best or worst decision of my life. 


	7. Chapter 6

**Title:** Predilection  
**Disclaimer:** Gravitation or it's charas are not mine, but that of Maki Murakami-Sensei  
**Pairings:** Tatsuha/OC (Hitomi) (dun worry, no self-inserts or mary sue-ness)  
**Warnings:** POV, teeange/adult issues, romance, angst - life in general is a warning, may contain SPOILERS if you have not read Gravi book 12 **Author's Notes:** Yay! I still exist, and so does this story! Don't worry, I'm not giving up on it any time soon, I just needed to find some inspriation again. So, as promised so long ago, Chapter 6! 

And thank you so much to all my loyal readers and reviewers - your comments brighten my day! And it makes me soooo happy to know people are enjoying this story, or anyting I write 

**Chapter 6**

-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

It was dark, but comfortable that way. The windows were closed and the curtains drawn shut. The only light allowed to shine was from the electronics, casting an almost eerie blue glow on their glistening bodies. The short breaths that floated in the air around them almost shone the same. 

The familiar sound of naked flesh sliding together was music to his ears, as the smaller frame pushed him deeper into the plush mattress. He let his hands caress that smooth skin that was even softer and more perfect that it looked in all his dreams. 

But this was real. All so real. 

He was beyond words, just kissing and marking every bit of skin he could reach, happy to hear the pleased moans that followed. Lips that seduced millions worldwide brushed against his ear before a tongue went out to wet the space just beneath it. 

Tatsuha gave an involuntary shiver, fingers tightening on perfectly shaped shoulders. A small laugh ghosted out of that sweet, sweet mouth. Fingers raking down the teenager's chest, Ryuichi grinded into the boy, purring, 

"Can't…get _enough_…" 

----------------- 

Tatsuha awoke in a sweat, eyes wide to the darkness of the room. Running his fingers through sticky hair, he turned over in the bed to find a much more curvaceous body next to his. Hitomi slept soundly on her back. 

Sighing, the teen sat up, rubbing his face roughly to shake off the dream – the oh so wonderful dream. But Tatsuha knew it wasn't a dream. He could still feel all of the singer's touches and kisses as if it were that night. 

Yes, Tatsuha couldn't get enough either. But the touches began to fade from his skin as he calmed down the memories, as sweet as they were. 

He needed rest that morning. A long, long day ahead of him. 

His last in Japan. 

----------------- 

I don't know why I dreamt about my 'special night' then, but looking back I guess it was holding onto the best part I remembered about Japan. But…saying that seems a little off. Yeah, that night was awesome, but I do have other good memories too. 

Yeah, was definitely naïve in a lot of my reasoning. But even though I wouldn't admit it to myself then, I loved thinking back to when I was a little kid again. Mika did her best to fill in for our mom for me, since I never really 'met' her. Well, I did, just too young to remember. 

She used to sing lullabies and read me stories about rabbits and turtles and good neighbors and dogs. She let me run into her room when I got scared at night, and told me I was a good boy. 

Eiri and I used to play by the koi pond all the time. There was this really fat one that we named Elvis – yeah, it's a long story – well, we liked to try and get him to sumo with the other fish. It never worked, but we loved it. Well, I just loved hanging out with him all the time. Sometimes I was like a bad shadow, I guess. But he didn't mind. He told me I was his best friend. 

And yeah…my dad would sometimes come in and tuck me in at night. He even took me out one early morning and showed me the stars. Yes, my old man had his moments. 

But in that bed next to Hitomi, I guess I forgot all of that. My life, my family, Japan…Ryuichi. I shoved it all into the back of my mind and just looked forward. 

----------------- 

"Tatsuha, you have to eat something!" He ignored her for the nth time that morning, dragging his duffle bag down the little hallway. Hitomi rolled her eyes as she shrugged on her jacket. "Fine, you better hope they serve breakfast for you, then." Tatsuha grunted in response. He was not a morning person. 

But he also was having second thoughts about all of this. He had run away once already before, embarking on a journey that led him to Southern Japan, but this was outside of that sphere. Tatsuha was throwing himself at another world. Was it really worth running that far? 

His pride told him yes. He had left in the first place, and he wasn't going to ruin his resolve and go running back then. 

Arms slid up behind and wrapped around his waist. Coming out of his dazed state in thought, Tatsuha put his arms on hers as Hitomi rested her head on the back of his shoulder. 

"You're sure you want to do this, right?" she asked softly. 

Tatsuha looked down to the right. "Yeah…I'm sure." 

Sighing, she just snuggled closer. They stayed like that for some while until the young woman pulled away to finish off her morning tea. It was Tatsuha's turn to sigh, running fingers through his messy hair. 

"Well, my Aunt is looking forward to meeting you," she said from the kitchen. Tatsuha shifted his gaze up, then went back into the bedroom to grab his backpack. "Be sure to call me once you get there, okay? It's a long flight." 

Tatsuha gave a short, amused laugh at that as he reappeared. "Yeah, yeah. You know, you're starting to sound like a mother rather than a girlfriend." Hitomi made an effort to look offended, but could not hold it without breaking a smile. 

"Well, I think I have enough reason to. You know it's just because I care," she said, threading her fingers through his hair as she passed by. "But you've got to hurry up! The cab is going to be here soon, and your flight leaves in two hours." 

Nodding, Tatsuha slipped on his leather jacket and shouldered his pack. He concentrated on those mundane tasks, putting on his shoes and going out the front door. It made things easier to handle. 

The ride into the city was too quiet, even with Hitomi's idle chit-chat, though the comfort was appreciated. He had to continuously push back thoughts of regret or the nervousness building in his belly. 

His first flight ever, and it was leading him far from home. 

The airport was crowded for the morning, but it was Nagasaki. Tatsuha stayed back, away from the security check. All he had was carry-on, shouldering a backpack and a worn-out duffle bag. Stomach turning in every direction, he had to fight the urge to run back to the safety of that apartment he'd come to know so well. Hitomi put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

"You're going to be alright." It wasn't a question. 

Tatsuha forced his usual grin, trying to appear completely confident. He had his passport all ready, still legal and left over from a school trip he was supposed to go on a few years back, but had to stay because of temple duties. Finally, it was going to get some travel time. 

"Of course, it's me, c'mon." He lied through his teeth. Tatsuha was a bundle of nerves, but refused to admit it. Though it was easy for Hitomi to see, she didn't comment. 

"Yes, big bad Tatsuha." She smiled and rubbed his back gently. Goodbyes were hard. Tatsuha seemed to be getting good practice with them, though. 

Both looked towards the security check, knowing once he crossed that line, there was no turning back. Hitomi would leave and return to her life before her fling with the boy, and Tatsuha would start a new life thousands of miles away. 

The young man eyed Hitomi nervously, not wanting to instigate what he knew was about to happen. She slowly drew closer, Tatsuha lowered his head for what he assumed was a 'Goodbye Kiss'. But what he got instead was much nicer – a warm hug from someone who cared about him. 

When they broke apart, he smiled weakly. Hitomi just shook her head lightly. 

"See you later, Tatsuha." 

The teen liked that parting much better. 'Goodbye' was too final. "See you later, Hitomi." 

Hitomi was visible to the last second where Tatsuha disappeared behind a wall. The 'v' and smile she gave him was the last he saw of her, and it stayed with him the whole nineteen-hour flight over. 

----------------- 

I remember my first thought being that if humans were intended to fly, we would have sprouted wings. Really, though, the flight was all right once we were finally in the air and my initial anxiety had ebbed, about flying, at least. 

I could barely eat what meals they gave us, too scared of throwing up right then and there. A Japanese businessman sat next to me, some guy in is early forties. He was nice enough and tired to keep me distracted with magazines and random chatting throughout the flight. 

Yeah, the flight attendants were nice too. But none of them could really understand – it wasn't the flight I was so nervous about… 

I was heading to a city I'd only learned of a few days before! Like hell, I think I was being very mature and adult about it. I was going to meet someone that I'd only spoke with once on the phone, into a country that didn't speak my language, and into a city I couldn't even place on a map, let alone the globe itself. 

The more I look back on it, though, it wasn't mature at all. 

It was childish. I was running again. 

----------------- 

Stepping off the plane, Tatsuha breathed in is first breath of foreign air, tasting each new flavor. Shoulders straight, he continued with the line up the carpeted and covered ramp into the midst of the American populous. 

He was immediately met with faces he would never recognize, never see again. There were all ready more languages than he could even name. People chatted on their cell phones ceaselessly, reminding him a little of the girls back home. But Japan was long gone, and he had left the East for the West. 

Multi-lingual announcements chimed over head as he shuffled through the wood-paneled hallways. Some displayed various art and advertisements that he watched like a child seeing a shiny new toy for the first time. It was then that in blessed Japanese, he was welcomed. 

_/ Welcome to SeaTac Airport! Please follow the exit signs to leave the Gates. Remember that once you pass the security check, you cannot re-enter, so be sure you have all your luggage with you. Unattended or suspicious luggage will be reported and/or confiscated. Thank you for flying with us/_

He stopped in front of another little ramp, leading down towards the main entrance of the international airport. 

_There's no turning back once you go down that thing, Tatsuha._

But he didn't need to remind himself. It was some time he just stood staring like he was about to cross the Gates of Heaven, or Hell. A security guard approached and asked him something he couldn't understand, and in messy English he told them he did not speak it. The dark-skinned woman smiled empathetically and led him down the ramp, into a world Tatsuha would now become a part of. 

He waited as patiently as possible for signs or more announcements in his native tongue. That same anxiety was building like steam in a pressure cooker, ready to boil over any minute. It was partly a dream, and Tatsuha knew he could wake up any moment back in Kyoto, wrapped up haphazardly in the sheets of his futon. His father would be complaining about his laziness and he would mumble something back, hoping to go back to sleep. 

A young man bumped shoulders as he rushed past, muttering a hasty something and went on his business. Tatsuha stared after, and regretted not understanding a word. 

He wasn't going to wake up from this. 

What had he done? 

Some minutes passed as Tatsuha forced himself to follow some people, exploring the various areas of the main entrance. It was then he made his way past the ticket counters towards the parking lot outside. People were pulling up their cars along the sidewalks; greeting loved ones and helping them load their bags into their oversized SUVs. 

Dark eyes scanned the faces, finding a strange comfort in watching the families receive one another. But he knew there was someone waiting for him. 

Pulling a small piece of paper from his back pocket, Tatsuha held it out in the air. He could make out the '14', and sounded out the roughly scribbled kana written next to it. 'Bageji Kuraimu'… 

Down an escalator he went, following what he found were some familiar faces from the flight. Down into an area with many conveyer belts – baggage claim. And right by number 14, he saw his new benefactor. 

A middle-aged Japanese woman, leaning towards old age but with a vitality that showed through her eyes and smile. She held a sign with his name written in Kanji, eyeing the crowds for whom she only knew was a tall, young Japanese man. 

He moved towards her with a friendly smile, despite the nervousness he felt grow in every limb and finger. She saw him approach. 

"Akimoto-san?" 

The woman smiled pleasantly and gave him a bow of the head. "Uesugi-kun," she began in his native tongue, "It's a pleasure to meet you! I hope you had a nice flight? I know those can be terrible sometimes!" 

And at that moment, those seemed the kindest words he could hope to hear. 


End file.
